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Most have never had to worry about the pitfalls of big data collection or internet security. Most people love filling in questionnaires about themselves to find out more about their inner being, their character or special traits. Why not have a special place on your website for tests such as "which sex toy will fulfil my desires best" and link each answer with the respective toy from your catalogue. It's important to note that some items still may need to be reviewed by our Risk Management team.

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As they fumble along and learn, watchdogs like Internet of Dongs have sprung up in an attempt to keep track of the risks and help consumers. But sex toy companies, like most IoT companies, are still largely left to police themselves. "In the IoT space, [teledildonics] is one of the biggest threats that exists," says Amie Stepanovich, US policy manager at the nonprofit advocacy group Access Now. Researchers have demonstrated how easy it is to hack into popular products time and again. "These devices, like other IoT devices, are being produced by companies that have never connected products to the internet before," Stepanovich says.

Unfortunately, the suction feels somewhat weak